Feeling confident while raising an Autistic child is like a guy looking masculine while he’s drinking through a straw. It can be done, but I’ve never seen it.
The easiest part of having a kid is making them, and you don’t know what you’re gonna get…you might have one with a peanut allergy, or one that can’t go out in the sun, or one that’s still living with you 29 years later. No matter what you “get”, it’ll change your life forever.
Sometimes, in their children, parents find a perfect gift that’s disguised as a disability. And we’re not given an option to take an easier path, because if we were, most of us would take it. That’s certainly true for me! Here’s the thing – I didn’t choose to have a son with Autism. If my fairy godmother had come down and described what it was going to be like, I would have taken off so fast that her ‘make it so’ wand would have choked to death from the exhaust. That’s because back then I didn’t know any better. Back then, I didn’t know Josh.
I can’t separate the person Josh is and the parts of him that are Autistic. Is he who he is despite Autism, or because of it? The quest for those answers led me down a path I didn’t even know existed, and at the end I found myself looking in the mirror. Well played Universe!
What living with autism, up close and personal did, was carve a clear path for me to find out who I am, how I feel about myself, and how I feel about being Josh’s mom. And there’s the gift…even when it’s wrapped in confusion.
Listen to the Podcast: JHA018: The Real Deal
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