Disappointment

Sometimes I wonder how disappointment feels to Josh.  To me, what it looks like is him “shutting down” and then disappearing for a while, and then it’s as if nothing happened. It does not seem that he’s being stoic or suppressing the emotions that come with disappointment, but more like the situation that led to the disappointment is so distant it’s not even a memory.

That’s not a bad thing I guess. It seems like an amazing way to live. What I question though, is that if he doesn’t keep the experience that led to the result (in this case, disappointment), how does he ever learn the lesson that comes with it?

Maybe he’s fine with it and has really got it figured out.  That would be great for him…for me, it feels like watching the movie Groundhog Day.

When I’ve gone through tough situations it’s kind of standard for me to step back, reassess, learn, and then move forward again. With Josh, I often don’t know where he is in that process…or if there even is one! I’m not a psychiatrist, but isn’t processing part of the process? I’ve learned that little nugget by seeing quite a few psychiatrists. Don’t judge me!

If he does have a process that he goes through, I’m pretty sure it fluctuates from one situation to the next. I’m not even sure the order is always the same! It doesn’t have to be…but it would be so helpful to see a pattern!  Is there a version of “shutting down” happening first, and it’s so subtle it’s missed – and that leads to a disappointment? Or does the disappointment arise, causing the “shut down”? The answer is probably both. These things are why it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere!!

The part that I’m really amazed by is how once Josh has a disappointing experience, it’s over, it’s completely done, and doesn’t influence future experiences. I know I already said that…but let that sink in.  Josh lives each moment in that moment, even if that moment feels like disappointment, and then that moment is gone.  I think he’s on to something.

Listen to the Podcast: The Process | http://www.sonyaking.com/jha022-the-process/