It has been clear from the very beginning of life with Josh, that he has a different take on the things that society holds as important. He is very comfortable being alone, and what others think of him doesn’t change the way he lives, or thinks, or behaves.
During his early school years, I taught him that the adult in his classroom is his teacher, the lady that gives him his medicine at school is the nurse, and the man driving the car that made mom’s middle finger go up is a stranger. He needed to begin to understand these labels as a function of interaction, and a way to communicate. His view point was much different though…because to him they were all just friends.
Most of us have had the experience of calling someone a friend, when what they really are is an acquaintance, or co-worker, or even a family member. Generally, it’s not a problem at all…until someone throws a party, and then the whole conversation becomes who gets invited due to friendship, and who gets the obligatory invitation, and who gets invited just to make life easier by avoiding the explanation of exclusion. And, most of us don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Need an example? Just think about every wedding, ever held, that included a wedding guest list!
Josh does not act to avoid hurting someone’s feelings the way most of us have been trained to do. There are people in his life that share common interests, and he calls them friends. But if asked about them, he knows very little, other than he enjoys their company. Information that is typically gathered about someone after multiple get togethers, just doesn’t come up in his world. His efforts are already on overload by holding a conversation and making eye contact, and he doesn’t have a need for the who, what, when, where, and why, when it comes to knowing people.
That’s Josh. He can be alone no matter where he is…and that’s different than being lonely. He’s okay. And the arrangement is a simple one…he’s your friend. Just because he is.
Listen to the Podcast: JHA023: You’re My Friend – Who Are You?
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