~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Voting can be a giant heap of stress for someone with autism. It’s an uncomfortable situation at best, involving social interaction, uncertainties and unfamiliar situations, and ends with a poorly worded test.  Oh, and the test must be taken standing up at a thing that’s

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh called me from work and said, “my partner on this job is hard to have a conversation with”! That made me laugh because I’ve been dealing with that issue with Josh for 28 years! The employees that he’s working with also have autism, and

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh has autism, and I’m his mom…and I have a personality, and likes and dislikes, things I do well and things I don’t.  Would Josh be who he is today if he had a different mom? Maybe…but he wouldn’t be as funny! I know I

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ For Halloween I think I’m gonna dress up as a big ole ball of red tape! I’ll leave the porch light on so kids know I have sweets to allocate, and when they follow the rules and make it onto the front porch I’ll demand

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh needs routine, advanced notice of change, and prefers nothing out of the ordinary to occur. Hurricanes are jerks that don’t care what anyone needs. So, when this latest home wrecker was forecast to be in our neighborhood, Josh retreated into the comfort of his

~Clearly Muddled Blog~ There are a lot of milestones that cause parents to pause in recognition that their baby is growing up. This week my daughter called and told me that her almost two-year-old said she wanted to sleep in the big bed instead her crib. Gulp. Just like that,

~~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~~ Get a job, Sha, na, na, na, sha, na, na, na, na! The Silhouettes sang that song all the way to number one in 1958, and today it’s music to my ears. Autism may have slowed the progress, but Josh is ready to work, and

~~Clearly Muddled Blog~~ Autism effects social interaction. It effects communication. It effects the ability to read non-verbal ques. Asking a person on the autism spectrum to speak and respond to a room full of people seems unlikely, but that’s exactly what Josh has done. Boom! A few days ago, I

~ Clearly Muddled Blog~ Sometimes, right in the middle of Josh plugging along in the right direction, he puts on the brakes, and stops…for no apparent reason.  It seems to come out of nowhere, with no sign that the forward momentum was coming to an abrupt, screeching halt. He shuts

~Clearly Muddled Blog~ The focus on autism tends to be about hardships. Often, it’s about what a person on the spectrum has difficulty with, and what types of adaptations have been found to help. Those things are necessary, and are part of paving the way, but they’re designed to help

~Clearly Muddled Blog~ Fear is the culprit behind a lot of people on the autism spectrum feeling uncomfortable in everyday situations. Sometimes that fear is triggered by circumstances that seem harmless to those of us that don’t have autism. When Josh was a little boy, it was difficult for me

~~Clearly Muddled Blog~~ People seem so comfortable in judging situations that they don’t know anything about. When Josh used to have melt-downs I would see glares and hear the clueless say to one another, “That kid needs a good paddle to his butt”.  These strangers felt empowered to cast their

~Clearly Muddled Blog~ Helping a person with Autism orchestrate and organize their life is hard work. Especially when that person (me) is unorganized and haphazard by nature. Finding that thing that works and getting it to stick is like winning the super bowl! The payoff is huge, and worth every

Everything has consequences, right? I was telling Josh that whether he does something or doesn’t do something, there will always be consequences. The difference is that some are positive, and some are negative.  He asked me to leave his room. He doesn’t even like the word consequences! That’s alright, I

If I stepped away for a while, what would happen? If I didn’t orchestrate his life…make appointments, encourage, direct, redirect, remind, remind, remind him of every little thing…what would happen? I’m invisible to him anyway. Autism, you will not destroy me, but today, I need to step away for a

Patterns are everywhere, and sometimes they show up as repetition of behaviors.  Like when I eat all the Red Vine Licorice that ever makes its way into our house…that’s an overpowering delicious pattern! From the time Josh rolls out of bed each day, he’s got a program flipping around in

One thing Autism is not, is flexible.  It makes no difference what plans have been made, when Autism says, “I don’t think so”, the brakes are put on and it’s time to make new plans. Sometimes, I’m just not in the mood to have to change plans. Occasionally, I like to

I didn’t choose to have a son with Autism. If my fairy godmother had come down and described what it was going to be like and asked if I was in, I would have taken off so fast that her “make it so” wand would have choked to death from the

I’m not very organized. I’ve never seen the need to conform to the way everyone else does things. So, when I found out that Josh has autism, it was a fast and furious lesson in being consistent, regimented, and patient. Three things I had only heard of up until that point!

Through my son Josh, I can see that living with autism is hard to do. The hurdles are chronic, and include a constant struggle with anxiety, impaired social interaction, difficulty with communication, repetitive and awkward behavior, restricted interests, isolation, depression, and often if not constant, an unsurmountable level of stress. Suicidal

I’m a comedian. I’m also a mom, and my son Josh has autism. It was a surreal experience to be making my living by making people laugh, while at home I had a son that didn’t understand humor. So, I did what I knew to do, and set out to

From the time Josh was a little guy he had a hard time controlling his need to have everyone follow instructions. I’m all for following instructions, if winging it and doing it on the fly doesn’t work.  Since I recently quit having fits when things don’t go my way, I

It’s hard to see your kids grow up.  It’s what we want to happen, and we work so hard to ensure it happens with as little drama as possible, but sometimes the drama is part of the process. Some people call it growing pains, I call it time for a drink!

Watching my Autistic son start dating was weird.  It was and still is a strange dynamic because it means he’s doing this grown up thing, while still needing prompting and redirecting in most other areas of his life.  He’s calling someone “hun” and at the same time still needs reminders

Josh is smart.  He’s REALLY smart.  So, when his efforts to go to college were unsuccessful, he was devastated.  But they say three’s a charm, and whoever they are, they’re right! (So, they are not the theythat say you can drive seven miles over the speed limit and not get

Because Josh doesn’t have a physical disability, sometimes people meeting him for the first time don’t realize that he is working over-time to present the way he does. His gentle nature is genuine, his intelligence is obvious, his sarcasm is on point (sometimes), and his diagnosis is invisible…at first. But

It has been clear from the very beginning of life with Josh, that he has a different take on the things that society holds as important. He is very comfortable being alone, and what others think of him doesn’t change the way he lives, or thinks, or behaves. During his