Where’d You Go?

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~

Lately, a new pattern of sorts has developed with Josh. On a regular basis I’ve heard myself asking him “where’d you go”? I mean it literally and figuratively because he’s been MIA and mentally unavailable. I get it – I want to be both of those things sometimes! For him though, it’s not on purpose.

There’s a fine line that I’ve been walking for the past couple of decades, and right now it seems to be as hard as ever.  I don’t always know if Josh’s behaviors are a choice he’s making, if they’re because of autism, or if they’re due to one of the many sidekicks that accompany autism. For him those sidekicks are ADD, depression, an anxiety disorder, and major gastrointestinal issues…and they take Parenting 101 in the back alley and kick its butt regularly.

How do I support him when I don’t know what the heck he needs?  Not wanting to do something and autism sometimes look alike! Do I push to help, should I give him space, does he need time, reminders, input, guidance? I don’t know! What I do know is that there are times when I lose my cool regardless of the reason for his behavior.  It happens when I feel he’s regressing, or not listening, or somewhere in between…and I’m on a giant hamster wheel, going nowhere.

I just decided…today I’m taking a MIA/mental health day! I’m gonna go ride a go-kart, without using the brake…not even once.  Cuz that’s how rebels roll!!

(Hamsters, please don’t send hate mail because I dissed your wheel.)

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Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #058: Absenteeism | http://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-058-absenteeism