~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~
Josh called me from work and said, “my partner on this job is hard to have a conversation with”! That made me laugh because I’ve been dealing with that issue with Josh for 28 years! The employees that he’s working with also have autism, and by nature, they all have very specific ideas on how anything and everything should be done.
It’s frustrating for Josh, but it seems like he’s gaining some useful insight into the importance of conversation. I know from experience that sometimes a person with autism isn’t aware of the need to talk…even when it seems blatantly obvious to neurotypicals. The trade off there is that Autistics seem to have a better handle on self-awareness than the rest of us goobers.
I’ve seen a lot of comedians talking about what a married couples’ conversation sounds like. They portray the husband saying, “I’m not a mind-reader” and the women saying, “if you loved me, you’d know what I need”!! What? Clearly, being autistic is not a prerequisite to conversations breaking down. Sounds like married people win that prize!!
Getting Josh to talk has not always been easy. Most of the time he feels more comfortable sinking into a good book, rather than having face to face interaction. That’s because conversation is hard, without wine. And he doesn’t drink.
Here’s what I’ve told him: try not to assume that other people think like you, would have the same opinion as you, or that they process the same as you. Ask questions. Share your thoughts. And do your best to keep in mind that we are all individuals dealing with situations the best we can. If the other person has autism, chances are they’re having a rough time conveying what they need, especially in a high stress circumstance. He gets it.
Time for some wine!
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Listen to the Podcast: JHA049: Say It! | https://sonyaking.com/jha0494-say-it
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