Fear is the Culprit

~Clearly Muddled Blog~

Fear is the culprit behind a lot of people on the autism spectrum feeling uncomfortable in everyday situations. Sometimes that fear is triggered by circumstances that seem harmless to those of us that don’t have autism. When Josh was a little boy, it was difficult for me to recognize that his behaviors were due to fear, because it looked so much like he was just being difficult.  I know what being difficult looks like…I’ve lived with me for a long time!

I knew this kid better than anyone. It was frustrating seeing him consistently have a difficult time functioning, and it was heartbreaking to realize it was in large part because he regularly felt overwhelming fear.  Often, the things that tripped him up caught me off guard because it didn’t make sense to me. I can be melodramatic. As a matter of fact, I’m really good at it.  At times, it just seemed like he was really good at it too.

Then, there were times that just felt devastating.  And those times became more prevalent, and the occasions when he seemed comfortable faded away. Sights, sounds, smells, changes, tangible things, invisible things, reasonable things, irrational things, thoughts, and anything that would disrupt routine, all became something leading to fear. For Josh, anything that could create pain, became something to fear.

Turned out, fear was a huge pain. No really, I mean his fear created a physiological response that was painful.  That in turn lead to behaviors that by all accounts, seemed pretty odd.  Today, people have heard about autism, but when Josh was little it wasn’t something many people knew about.  So, shutting down, screeching, covering his ears, clearly not having fun in the middle of everyone having fun…was odd.

I get it now. I understand that those behaviors are a result of feeling the discomfort of fear – even if it’s unordinary fear.  Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”.  I say we have nothing to fear but snakes, and spiders, and scissors, and machinery, and heights, and loud noises, and the unknown, and windows, and vampires, and werewolves.

That’s a lot.  It’s a good thing Josh has super powers.  And I have wine.

Listen to the Podcast: JHA040: Fears | https://sonyaking.com/jha040-fears