Rules Make Me Fat.

I’ve never liked rules. If I had been born a bit earlier I would have been one of those flower power, anti-authoritarian hippies. Peace, love, and Red Vine licorice baby! In contrast, Autism is known to include a very rigid way of thinking, with high value placed on rules. So, I found myself trying to figure out what a free spirited, almost hippie, does with an Autistic son that clearly not only needs rules, but will not thrive without them.

You know what I did? I made some rules, and it didn’t take very long to realize that our version of rules were very different. Like, not on the same planet kind of different.

My rules were things like no television until homework is done, to say please and thank you, and after trick or treating you can only eat the amount of candy that matches your age. That one worked out perfect for me! I love candy.

These are just a few of Joshua’s detailed, never to be disregarded rules:

We have to use the slices of bread in a specific order….and that is from the center of the loaf out. If you don’t do that, you may eat the end piece – only if you eat it first, along with the slice right next to it. You can leave the end piece of the bread only if someone is willing to eat both end pieces together at the end…which is highly discouraged because no one should ever eat an end piece with an end piece.

The microwave timer must be stopped before it beeps. If you stop it when there is only one second left on the timer there is only one beep, as opposed to four. Four beeps could lead to catastrophe.

Feet are gross, don’t ever have them.

See! I told you! These rules are exhausting, and sometimes I just want to run away. I did once, but I ended up going to the store to get Josh new socks that ‘come up just past the ankle, without seams. They also must have a blue stripe.’ I got Red Vine licorice.

Listen to the Podcast – JHA002: The Rules